Coping With Breakup or Divorce: How to Move On!
Have you ever felt like everyone else in your life is moving forward and improving their lives, while your life is staying still. You’re stuck in the same place where you’d been for a few years? Your heart is still broken from divorce. You want to move on but there is something that is holding you back in life. You keep trying to find a solution to get over a breakup and reclaim your sense of self-worth, but to no avail. You feel confused, hurt, and lonely despite coming back from work to your beautiful house and pouring yourself a nice glass of wine.
What is worse is when you see a friend, who didn’t possess much of a talent or maybe she was even worse at many things in comparison to you, yet she managed to get way ahead of you in life. She has the husband who adores her and treats her as a queen, she has this rocking body, and her business is on the move. Maybe you see your ex happy creating a compelling future: traveling, buying another beautiful house, or gifting Rolls Royce to his new wife. It makes you jealous and envious no matter how hard you try to deny these feelings.
The Only Way To Win Breakup Battle
Your logical side might even tell you that people have different life journeys with different circumstances that they use to make the best out of their lives. But another side of you is still extremely confused. As a result, you don’t seem to be able get over these feelings of self-hatred and self-doubt.
If you want to know how to deal with a breakup or divorce and envy, keep reading. Because I’m about to reveal the single thing you need to do and understand to get over envy of someone else’s success. I will also share Alex Wise ( Loveawake CEO) ideas what to do when you see everyone else moving ahead, and you’re staying in the same place or, worse yet, taking steps back.
Giving Yourself Permission To Be a Loser
You might see yourself as a loser and everyone else as winners. But your definition of ‘loser’ is different to their’s. Understand that wanting to deal with envy and self-hatred and doing something about them are two different things. Don’t think you should grow just because other people do. If you just want to stay where you are and not grow then give yourself permission to do so. Don’t fight it. I’m sure you can find people in life who will look up to you. You might be a role model for someone else on this planet. You might be a loser for yourself, but a winner for another person.
There is one beautiful quote that says,
If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve got.
When you don’t take actions that are different from what you’d done before you will not get anything different. Don’t be surprised to find out that you’re right where you were a few years ago. There is often a very good reason or explanation for it.
When Getting Naked Becomes Your Best Medicine
It’s vital to be honest with yourself. Do you really WANT to grow or do you just WISH to grow? There are so many people who wish to create a passionate relationship, get over a breakup, heal from divorce and infidelity, or let go of toxic relationships but they do nothing to make it happen. They just wait for someone else to give it to them. Preferably for FREE. Then, fast-forward a few years, they see other people grow and accomplish their dreams. It leaves them confused, thinking ‘How are they doing it? What do they have that I don’t.‘
The Secret To Success Even If You Have Self-Doubt
The secret to what they have is hard work. It’s because they invested money, time, and energy into themselves. Then, they were patient and focused enough to not give up where 99% of people would.
This is why it’s not about what they have, for the most part. It becomes about what they DO. Moving forward is hard, scary, and painful. Dealing with divorce, doing breakup therapy, finding yourself after years of a broken marriage, healing sexual trauma, or overcoming anxiety is HARD. People get to their level of success by doing all of these things that get them out of their comfort zone. Any person who has ever succeeded has done intensive work on their self-worth in order to move ahead.
As per envy and compassion…
In life it’s YOU vs YOU.
You looking at what other people do and have is the most ludicrous thing you can ever do to yourself.
Every second you waste on what somebody else has is taking away the time you could have used to create something for YOURSELF. This is why most people lose. It’s because we are lying on the couch, looking at what other people have that we don’t, and we feel self-pity for ourselves. But what you don’t understand is that just because those people have what you would like to have, it doesn’t mean they are happy.
Why?
Because they might have a different definition and blueprint for extraordinary success, ultimate happiness, or new life after divorce. Just because their life meets your blueprint of ‘moving forward‘, it doesn’t mean their blueprint is the same.
When you’re looking at somebody else’s glamorous life or them doing something cool, you are envious, egregiously jealous, outrageously impatient, and it’s crippling your potential.
You Are Losing.
What you should be doing is thinking and following through with stuff that will get you to your dreams or goals. If you have time to get envious of someone else, you have too much time on your heads. You are not working hard enough. This is why you’re staying still and glued to the past.
I have been there. I did this poisonous crap to myself. I so know how you feel. But your life won’t change if you continue doing what you are doing right now.
Do something that will get you to your desired outcome now. And if it doesn’t work…do something else. And if that doesn’t work…will you give up? NO! You will do something else until you find a strategy or an approach that will work. Then, you need to be patient instead of dwelling on what you could have had when you actually haven’t been patient or persistent enough to create your new sublime future!
Here’re a few powerful self-live and confidence strategies that will help you get of this rut.
Once you’ve had a chance to read, I’d love to know: what helps you deal with the pain of a breakup right now? How do you self-soothe?
No matter what you’re facing right now, there is an adventurous journey ahead. You can use your heart, courage, and dedication to find a way or make a way. It all comes to how bad you want to make it happen